9 Things I Hate About Myself, and more importantly, 9 Things I Love About Myself

9 Things I Hate About Myself, and more importantly 9 Things I Love About Myself

This week's post is different, maybe more serious than other posts, but it is something I really want to write.
First off, I want to say that I was inspired by xsparkage's video on Youtube, where she shared 9 things she loves about herself and 9 things she hates about herself. Not only was this an amazing video, it is just such an interesting concept. We all have things about ourself that we don't like, but we all have stuff that we come to love about ourselves too. There is no all or nothing, it is a big mess of everything and that is beautiful.
I have been watching Leesha for years, but this video has been one of the most impactful videos I have ever seen. I highly recommend you go check it out here.

I have decided to write my own little version of her video this week, so here we go.


9 Things I Hate About Myself

1. I am scared of change. I can adapt to it if I need to, but there is nothing more in the world that terrifies me so. Change... well it changes everything. And a lot of the time I have no idea how to move past that fear. 
2. While on the inside I tend to be a highly emotional person, I am not someone who shows that on the outside. I rarely share how I feel, whether out of fear or not wanting to impose.
3. I have never been kissed.
4. Sometimes I let myself be less important than the others around me. I let others walk all over me, when I know that I deserve better. But I'm working on this one. 
5. How self-conscious I am about my skin and acne. I have become mostly comfortable with my body, but my skin is an uphill battle. I know it will be okay one day, and most people probably don't even notice, but it causes me such anxiety now.
6. When I get frustrated, which can be easily, I cry. And I can't control this response at all, no matter how much I don't want to cry.
7. I doubt myself in so many situations, even ones so familiar that I don't need to.
8. Sometimes I let such small things bring down my day, like a shirt not feeling just right for my mood. I can get through it most of the time, but sometimes it just stays in the back of my mind. 
9. I am an over-thinker. 

9 Things I Love About Myself

1. I love my family and friends. Fiercely. Even if I don't show it to them very well, it is the strongest feeling I have.
2. I dream. I have always been a dreamer. And it doesn't even matter if any of my dreams ever come true, it just matters that I have the heart and courage to dream them.
3. I am a child at heart. Especially when it comes to Disney. And I always will be this way. 
4. My tattoos. I only have two so far (an always with a Deathly Hallows and a Mickey Mouse), but I plan to get so many more. 
5. Being a big sister. This is something I have always been a part of my identity, and always will be. And I am so proud of that, even when I fight with my sister. It doesn't matter, I am still her big sister.
6. My love for reading and writing. It has always been one of the biggest parts of my life and I am so grateful that I find passion in these. 
7. The color of my eyes. 
8. I love that I have come to enjoy working out and trying to be healthy. Like I actually like to go to the gym, a sentence I never really thought I'd say. 
9. I am learning to love myself as much as I deserve. 

Every person has struggles with themselves. And they have moments of pride and happiness for themselves. Life and people are not black and white, we are every color there is. The world is made of screaming colors. 

And I am too. 

Thank you again to Leesha for inspiring me to write this, it meant a lot. It was hard to write the hate list, it hurts to specifically focus on yourself like that, but the love list reminded me of what was more important. 

If you find yourself with some extra time, I encourage you to try it out too. 

But remember, the things you love about yourself are worth so so much more than anything else. 

Word of the week: self

xoxo 

Spiryt 

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